Archive for the Politics Category

Anyone See That CBS Report?

Posted in Funny?, Politics on November 25, 2008 by frumpunk

CBS did a report on people in the Chassidic communities who cheat on their wives and husbands. I didn’t see the broadcast, but I read the summary on their website: http://wcbstv.com/seenat11/hasidic.jews.extramarital.2.873251.html

Now its difficult for me, when reading about a topic so serious, to find something in the article so hilarious. This quote pretty much sent me into fits:

“I know of swingers in the ultra orthodox community, which shocked me to hear it … just the way it would shock anybody else,” said “Yossi” of Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

Yossi said he knows adultery is taking place because he said he had affairs with several Hasidic women.

That might be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen or read from a serious news story. How far can this kind of cognitive dissonance go in news stories?

“Yes, I heard about the shootings. Its was terrible, I couldn’t believe it.” Says Mr Tom Buckley. Mr Buckley then proceeded to continue firing into the crowded mall.

“And the top story today, it seems Laura Bush, the First Lady of the United States has been having an affair. We go now to George Cooper at the White House. George?” “Hi, I’m George Cooper. As I found out last night, the First Lady is indeed having an affair. The affair began when I snuck into the side window of the Lincoln Bedroom late last night…”

Baracknophobia

Posted in Politics on November 17, 2008 by frumpunk

I have to issue an apology. Looks like everyone was right, when they compared Obama to Hitler. I’d especially like to apologize to VIN commentators for having doubted so many of you.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about "Baracknophobia", posted with vodpod

As Expected

Posted in Politics on November 5, 2008 by frumpunk

Now that Obama has been declared the winner by VIN (The News You Can Trust) I’m sitting back and enjoying the comments. As expected, I’m not disappointed.

http://www.vosizneias.com/22108/2008/11/04/president-elect-obama/#comments

Rabosai, everyone should make sure they have an updated passport and I think tomorrow should a Yom Tefilah and maybe even a fast day. This is very, very scary and no one should take it lightly.

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Oy Vey! The holocaust is coming!!!!!!!

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A passport? Where exactly are you going to? With Obama there wont even be an Israel to go to.

And so on… This is seriously entertaining. Also, the person on Facebook who noted in his status that Obama will be bringing Sharia Law to America. Yes, absolutely. Now the mask will fall to reveal… Bin Ladin!?

Update:

this shows the yad hashem, that 7 years after 9/11, we’d have a president named hussein obama, an arab.

Now, for reference. An Arab is a person of Middle-Eastern extraction. Obama, being half Kenyan is half African, not Arab. You seem to be using Arab as an interchangeable term for Muslim. A Muslim is a person who follows the religion of Islam. Obama is neither.

Thank you, and goodnight.

Politics Schmolitics

Posted in Politics on November 4, 2008 by frumpunk

Its a historic election, but I’ve made the monumental decision that millions have been waiting to hear; who will I endorse? After much soul-searching, the answer is John McCain. Because you have to vote by what’s important, and I truly believe that only John McCain has the ability to put a pair of pants on the plate of every child in America. Broccoli grass roots support aside, the banana enjoys the fish with a pina colada. Simply put, three eggs and a carrot is all it takes to win this thing, and McCain has the necessary socks to pull this off.

You may well ask, “what’s the meaning of clocks?” and the tomato will answer, but McCain has both the quilt, and lightbulbs with feet. That is his deceit. Its curtains down and the mouse may move, but the flags still fly and the clocks still groove. He’s done his paint to distance himself from Bush, but with a voting record with a 95% similarity, that’s a difficult frame to picture. Armpits? Yes, but aside from roads, who’s going to upholster the cat come spring? The truth is, if Obama spring onions a leek, he may have a bath, but record companies aside, that won’t help the economy much.

And thats why I’m voting for McCain. Based on the reasons other people give, mines as good as any.

Socialism Is The Answer

Posted in Politics, Rants on October 23, 2008 by frumpunk

Look, before I write this, let me just say; I really hate writing about politics. Its not fun to write about and few things are less interesting to me as a reader than reading about someones personal opinions on politics. I’m going to write better posts soon, maybe even some comedy again, if I can just find my elbow. But in the meantime I want to rant, and I have a forum in which to do so.

Uninformed people regurgitating useless opinions, spelled badly. They annoy me, and I probably don’t do myself any favors when I check out political news from Jewish websites. (You know the ones.) I’m reading the comments on a post, and this was a new one, as they were discussing Obamas economic plans back and forth. One thing that stood out in particular was the amount of bile being spewed over the apparent socialistic tendencies of Obamas idead. Socialism! The devil, apparently, stealing your money to give it to people who don’t deserve it! Lazy, good-for-nothings! Now the interesting thing there, is the audience spewing this bile. The yeshivish crowd, with its kollel lifestyle is entire socialistic. From the obvious of food stamps and Medicare to the less easily calculated parent support, they only survive due to socialism. Especially from the government, that’s what gets me. All these Jews who ardently vote Republican, how many of them make enough to not be hurt by Republican economic policies? Socialism can only help those of you at the lower spheres of the economic classes.

Secondly, and less popular, socialism is awesome. Trust me, I’ve lived between America and the UK most of my life, I have lots of experience with both. You know whats awesome? Having no money and being able to see a doctor. Having no money and being able to get a prescription. Having no money and being able to get glasses or contacts. Having no money and getting a well subsidized education. (Yes, even religious schools. We don’t get that whole “tuition crises” over here.) Do we pay for it? Hells yeah. 17.5% sales tax. Does it hurt? No, because I make more money per hour. The whole thing evens out.

Fact is, socialism says one simple thing: that we as a country are willing to pay to make sure everyone else has the basics when it comes to healthcare and the ability to get an education without money or scrambling for scholarships. That whole idea is anathema to Americans, its every man for himself there. The very thought of paying to help strangers seems to be bile in the American gullet.

And that’s very sad.

(Before commenting: were you planning on posting some handpicked study that apparently shows that everyone in a social healthcare system is dying in the waiting rooms trying to see a doctor or get a transplant? Save it, those are long debunked. They handpick cases where something went wrong and try to make it an example of the whole system. More people die in America even with health insurance, being denied their procedures.)

They All Suck

Posted in Politics, Rants on October 19, 2008 by frumpunk

Dammit people. This was supposed to be the great election that would fix America. The early campaigning was so promising as well. Then it all went to hell. My man Huckabee is beaten by McCain, Obama won the Democratic primary, but then that was expected. McCain seemed to be alright back in the day, but once he started running for president I started to dislike him more and more. Now its not the mudslinging and stupid accusations that annoy me. The annoyance is that after eight years of ‘W’ its come down between “Inexperienced senator with great oratory skills, with his sidekick, old guy with experience who will do nothing” and “Probably more Bush policies with his sidekick, female moose killer”.

Seriously, the Palin choice pissed me off to no end. McCain had a chance to show himself as a real candidate who was about the issues, and for his VP he picks someone purely to lure the disgruntled Hillary supporters. Great, another VP with a record of lying (the bridge to nowhere thing) and to top it off, all I’ve seen her do is whip crowds into a frenzy with no real substance. Isnt that what Obama was already doing for the previous year or so?

I don’t like Republican policies. But I don’t have anything to like about Obama/Biden either. I’m abstaining this one. As for why I liked Huckabee; politics aside, he seemed to be the only candinate who was a real person, not a set of talking points and quotes.

All that aside, the Jewish press really doesn’t like Obama. In the issue two weeks ago, Mishpacha published a large photo of Obama squinting into the sun, making him look really odd, and I’ve received the same letter from two separate Jewish organizations warning how bad Obama will be for Israel. I’ve already stated my opinion on Israel and American politics earlier.

Also, everytime I read the comments on a  VIN article on politics, I lose a little more faith in humanities right to free speech and democracy. http://www.vosizneias.com/21509/2008/10/19/chicago-il-i-respect-mccain-but-i-am-endorsing-obama-he-is-better-for-the-economy/

Posts From 3AM

Posted in Funny?, Me, Politics on October 18, 2008 by frumpunk

So I haven’t posted in a while. I blame it on a combination of being semi-homeless (I’ve been living out of two suitcases since August) and having no internet where I’m staying. Working thirteen hour days until Succos didn’t help either. But I’m back, to quote Yeedle: “Y’all know me, still the same OG, just been low key.”

Here’s some posts that weren’t ever really posts, but rather stupid little thoughts/scribbles. Real posts coming soon.

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When I’m in America, if a girl hits on me I cant help but feel insecure that it might just be the accent. Being back here removes that doubt, though it seems to happen less which probably proves that theory. On the other hand I’ve been hit on by gay men here but not there.

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Flashbacks of a Fool might be the best movie I’ve ever seen. And its also the first movie I’ve ever seen that is English but doesn’t pander to its Englishness or twist it for comedic benefit. The whole thing could have worked with replacing a seaside town in England with a farming village in Louisiana, but what’s so great about it is that it works despite being English, not purely because of it the way most English films do.

Plus the soundtrack is awesome. “Shake your head girl with your ponytail, takes me right back”.

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If east is east and west is west and never the twain shall meet, where’s the twain?

(On twack twee.)

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What annoys me about Judaism is that there doesn’t seem to be an objective wrong and right. I wait three hours after meat. So that apparently means that someone who waits six and eats a cheese sandwich after five is doing an averiah, while its all right for me? Also, do chassidim believe on some level that everyone who has normal haircuts and doesn’t have the shaved head and peyos will be punished for it? Same goes for shaving. And why do they shave the heads? I understand the peyos, but is the shaved head simply to save money on haircuts, or is an actual part of their systems of belief?

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Jewish Institutions That Will Never Exist:

Toronto Institute of Torah Study

South Hebrew Institute of Torah

Central Louisiana Institute of Torah

Brooklyn Office Of Brocha Sellers

(I could go on, but thats bad enough)

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Why is it that incredibly fat women seem to be on a mission to wear incredibly tight cartoony shirts, usually featuring Tweety Bird? This might be a purely Wal-Mart phenomenon, but I’m sure I’ve seen it other places, if less often. Maybe Tweety Bird is a mascot for fat people? After all, little Tweety isnt in the best shape either. Her body is basically round as well.

I made a graph to prove the empirical truth of this data:

Fig 1. (Click for large)

Fig 1. (Click for large)