Positively Pesach

Before I begin, let me point out that I’m not late in posting about Pesach this year. I’m just really early in posting about how my Pesach was next year. ๐Ÿ™‚

This Pesach was the first time my brother came home since going off to Israel. In seven months he’s completely frummed out, which is fantastic, at least if you’re always looking for blogging material. I mean frummed out as in, making my sister cringe when he took her to a college interview and while they were waiting, asking any Jewish-looking passing students if they want to learn some Pirkei Avos.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. At the seder, while I was pouring out my grape juice-with-a-bit-of-wine, he looked over and remarks that while he’s sure what I’m doing is halachically correct, he’s going to do things the correct way and drink four cups of wine. To emphasize the hilarity of this situation let me mention two things; our seder cups are massive and noone in my family drinks alcohol because we’re genetically lightweights.

My mother, who’s always quick to jump on a bandwagon of anything that seems frummer followed his lead with filling up her cup to the brim with wine (because he also said it has to be a full cup no matter how big the cup. I asked him what about if I brought a giant novelty ten liter wine glass to the table. He didn’t answer). So as I expected, by the time shulchan orech came around, my brother was wasted and my mother was on the couch with a headache.

So ironically, my brother was trying to be so frum that he got himself drunk to the point where he collapsed into bed and was snoring after soup, so he didn’t even say hallel or have the last two cups. Also, from seven months in Israel his hebrew pronunciation has picked up an Israeli twinge on the accent that is frankly, hilarious.

As for me, I left the seder with a stomachache from drinking all that kedem grape juice that is probably more of a laboratory experiment in bowel movements than an actual beverage. So sickly sweet. And I remember reminding myself of the post I wrote last Pesach complaining about the same thing and getting some comments on the right kind of wine to buy. Maybe next year I’ll remember in time.

Hope yours was as much fun.

6 Responses to “Positively Pesach”

  1. I MISSED YOUUUUUU

  2. Was sitting with my friend at shul’s seder. And then the rabbi started speaking, and then his son, which always a great “pleasure”. While his son was speaking, we started on cup number 3. Then, another 3 people spoke, all one after another. By the time the blah, blah, blah was finally over, we were on cup number 5 and quite drunk.

    Great to sit at a community seder next to vegetables though, everyone was getting half a chicken and the 2 at my table gave me theirs, so I ended up with a chicken and a half.

  3. “…kedem grape juice that is probably more of a laboratory experiment in bowel movements than an actual beverage”

    brilliant my friend, brilliant.

    7Seventy
    (Still listening dude)

  4. B”H

    No offense but it doesn’t sound like your brother frumed out. It sounds like he went off the deep end,…and that’s coming from someone who is sometimes called a fanatic.

    I hope the pendulum doesn’t have to swing back and forth too many times, and too far to the other end, before he finds a balance in his life.

    Next time something like that happens, you could always ask him for his halachic source. See how he reacts.

  5. BY: He actually came to the seder with a little english book that seems to contain all the halachos of Pesach. He stopped us every few minutes to read from it to tell us how we’re doing something wrong. Among the things we’ve been doing wrong all our lives: leaning, drinking and eating too much during the meal.

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