Chanukah Kicks Tuchus
Chanukah is the single greatest yom tov we have. And not just because it gave me a reason to use the word “tuchus” in a title.
Finally, we have a yom tov that doesn’t involve massive amounts of over-consumption. It doesn’t stop us from driving, using the computer or (G-D forbid), Facebooking. It doesn’t involve any whining, for once we came out the victors. Its the “tough-Jew” holiday, the perennial favorite of the JDF and Kahanists.
But what about Purim, you ask? I’m not a fan of Purim. If you’re one of the few people still around from when I began, you’ll remember that one of my first posts was how I don’t like Purim. Drunk people and fifteen year olds peeing in the streets do nothing for me, especially when I had to explain to a local Irish family why the kids from the Yeshiva near them in their small town were kicking fences and peeing. They were just watching like it was the best show in ages, which considering where they lived, might have been true.
But back to Chanukah, it makes no heavy demands on you, it’s basically an after school/work yom tov. You get to eat chocolate money and eat latkes. Everyone has an excuse to eat doughnuts. I actually feel odd if I eat a jelly doughnut during the year, because it’s so tied in with chanukah to me.
Just a few gripes: We need new songs. Even Y-Love and Erran Cohens take does little to really spice it up for me anymore. Where’s the chanukah equivalent of “White Christmas”? Is it maybe because its so hard to rhyme “chanukah”? Next; We need a mascot. Chanukah Chaim is just a cheap imitation of Santa. How about a new story for the kids? Yehuda Maccabi comes out of the oil and gives jelly doughnuts too all the erlich boys and girls? Decorations. I can’t stand the fact that Jewish houses look so dull while “goyish” but we all do that as well. On that note, this might be just my family, but does anyone else decorate the succah with Christmas fairy lights and stuff?