Bush Vindicated; Claims Iraq Had Shoes All Along
President Bush last night claimed his decision to invade Iraq had been vindicated after US troops uncovered an arsenal of shoes on the outskirts of Fallujah.
More than 400 lethal shoes including sandals, pumps, desert boots and a solitary brogue were revealed as Mr Bush paid a final visit to Iraq to see if there was anything left. A White House spokesman immediately dismissed claims the US invasion had been based on Saddam Hussein’s alleged stockpile of chemical and biological weapons, adding: “No we didn’t, we said shoes.” “We did and if you heard weapons of mass destruction, that’s your problem. You might want to try using a Q-Tip. “The spokesman added: “We believe that many of these shoes would have been built in China with Russian laces, French-made heels and odor-absorbing insoles purchased through back channels via the west African state of Niger.”
British Prime minister Gordon Brown backed Mr Bush insisting many of Iraq’s shoes were slip-ons that could activated in less than 45 minutes. But France denied supplying Iraq with shoe components insisting its only exports to Saddam’s regime had been a 1994 shipment of humanitarian espadrilles.
Meanwhile the Kremlin said most of Iraq’s shoes had actually been bought from ex-US defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld when he worked for Hush Puppies in the early 1980s.
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