Zombie Nazis!

People often stop me in the streets and say “FP, you seem to have a pulse on all levels of cool. Why did that movie I watched recently suck?”, to which I respond with something about how I don’t watch movies because I’m not a shaygetz. Then I elbow them in the face. But I’m altruistic enough to offer an answer to their question somewhere in between the word “shaygetz” and the face elbow. The answer is, a serious and constant lack of Zombie Nazis in Hollywood.

Zombie Nazis are the greatest plot device ever, as voted by a world panel of leading environmental scientists and nutritionists, but they’ve been sorely underused up until now. A new movie coming out of Norway (I know what you’re thinking: Why does everything cool seem to come from Norway?) called “Dead Snow” has brought the plight of Zombie Nazis to the forefront of the world media. It has everything; Zombies. Nazis. Snow. Even Zombie Nazis. (Nazi Zombies are also a definite possibility. We’re not sure yet whether they regard themselves as Nazis first or Zombies).

The truth is, every movie would benefit from Zombie Nazis. Think of the last movie you watched. (Shaygetz.) Now think of it with Zombie Nazis. See how awesome it would have been? A great example is the last Indiana Jones movie. It sucked, something about aliens and commies. But imagine if Indy had been fighting Zombie Nazis! I believe the only reason they didn’t make it is because they felt the world was not yet ready for something so awesome.

In closing I would like to not only say the words Zombie Nazis three more times, but Zombie Nazis, and include a picture of some actual Zombie Nazis! Due to the observation that the weak of heart among you may not be able to handle the awesomeness, I shall link to them instead of posting them here.

Zombie Nazis! / Zombie Nazis! / And Zombie Nazis! run over by a snowmobile!

Late Update: The trailer can be seen here. I was already excited for it, but once I saw the tagline was “Ein! Zwei! DIE!” it kicked into a new level of awesomeness. I’m glad the comments have started to take off. I was beginning to think it was just me.

13 Responses to “Zombie Nazis!”

  1. Go read some Hellboy comics if you like zombie Nazis

  2. I’m pretty sure there was a movie in the 80s about zombie nazis…

  3. Ok, I’ve never heard about Zombie Nazis before, but sounds like something I wouldn’t like. At first I couldn’t tell if you were joking about it or not.

  4. Vee haf vays uff making u talk….. Anything with Nazis in it promises to be different. The fact that it comes out of Norway is just a Bonus……Great trailer.

  5. And ninjas, must have ninjas.

  6. Now I’m picturing Amadeus with Zombie Nazis and ninjas – perhaps an alternative assassination strategy?

  7. Amadeus rising up as a Zombie Nazi, cool.

    The new 10 commandments movie has ninja Amalakites. Still retarded though. Prob because there are no Zombie Nazi Egyptians.

  8. No Zombie Nazi Egyptians? But weren’t they all into necromancy and dark arts and things? Zombie Nazi Egyptians would have been historically accurate!

  9. Nope, no Zombie Nazi Egyptians. And the CGI special effects, ironically, looked worse than the home made ones used in the original 10 commandments.

    Moses’ dialogue about G-d is sacrilegiously hilarious, but everything else is bleh.

  10. I hope you just forgot to give credit where credit is due (call of duty: world at war’s Nazi Zombie mode).

  11. god u guys are nerd faggets

  12. ברוכים הבאים צי היימיש שמועסן איו טעלפון שמועסן זייט היימיש שעם זיך נישט

    Jewish Chat Room, Heimish Yiddish Phone ChatOwners:…Professor…Shaifeleh…BeNice…Jake…Dimp…Kingdavid… Moderators:…Stan…Josh…Nisht… Lovey


  13. и всё эе: благодарю..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: