People often stop me in the streets and say “FP, you seem to have a pulse on all levels of cool. Why did that movie I watched recently suck?”, to which I respond with something about how I don’t watch movies because I’m not a shaygetz. Then I elbow them in the face. But I’m altruistic enough to offer an answer to their question somewhere in between the word “shaygetz” and the face elbow. The answer is, a serious and constant lack of Zombie Nazis in Hollywood.
Zombie Nazis are the greatest plot device ever, as voted by a world panel of leading environmental scientists and nutritionists, but they’ve been sorely underused up until now. A new movie coming out of Norway (I know what you’re thinking: Why does everything cool seem to come from Norway?) called “Dead Snow” has brought the plight of Zombie Nazis to the forefront of the world media. It has everything; Zombies. Nazis. Snow. Even Zombie Nazis. (Nazi Zombies are also a definite possibility. We’re not sure yet whether they regard themselves as Nazis first or Zombies).
The truth is, every movie would benefit from Zombie Nazis. Think of the last movie you watched. (Shaygetz.) Now think of it with Zombie Nazis. See how awesome it would have been? A great example is the last Indiana Jones movie. It sucked, something about aliens and commies. But imagine if Indy had been fighting Zombie Nazis! I believe the only reason they didn’t make it is because they felt the world was not yet ready for something so awesome.
In closing I would like to not only say the words Zombie Nazis three more times, but Zombie Nazis, and include a picture of some actual Zombie Nazis! Due to the observation that the weak of heart among you may not be able to handle the awesomeness, I shall link to them instead of posting them here.
Late Update: The trailer can be seen here. I was already excited for it, but once I saw the tagline was “Ein! Zwei! DIE!” it kicked into a new level of awesomeness. I’m glad the comments have started to take off. I was beginning to think it was just me.