Its How You Look At It

The toilet was blocked up, so I went to the plumbing supply store to get a plunger. I got the latest model, which looks like a toy. I remember when plungers were simple things, a wooden handle with a rubber end. This contraption is made of plastic with a long wide ridged lower half. In hot red. At least its an attractive toilet unblocker.

My brother asked why I went and bought a plunger instead of just borrowing one from a cousin or neighbor. I couldn’t believe he was asking me that seriously. Then I understood, its how you look at it. See, to him its just like borrowing anything else. To me it sounds like I’m going to my cousin and saying this: “Hi, I’ve taken a massive, massive crap. So massive, my toilet can’t handle all of it at once, so its all blocked up. And I was thinking, you seem like the type of person who also takes craps of the magnitude that a common toilet can’t handle. Therefore you must have a device to unblock the toilet for when you’ve taken those massive craps. Can I borrow it?”

And I’m just not willing to suggest that to anyone I know.

14 Responses to “Its How You Look At It”

  1. The issue with a plunger is that it’s essentially a crap stick. I mean, you can sugarcoat this (the fact, not the stick) but the bottom line is that in asking to borrow one, you are basically saying: “Hey, would you mind lending me the one thing in your home that’s touched poop and never been washed?” and then pushing that around in *your* crap befire returning it with a polite smile. That’s always been the rub for me, at least.

  2. “The toilet was blocked up, so I went to the plumbing supply store to get a new one.”

    What, a new toilet?

    Also, “And I’m just not willing to suggest that to anyone I know..”

    Yet you throw it up da web…hmmm..

  3. hahahha i was cracking up!!!!

    yea u didnt really specify what u went to buy

  4. oy vey, I definitely wouldn’t ask to borrow one either.

    and yea it was unclear in the beginning what you went to buy.

  5. I once sent my husband out at 2 am to buy a new one. I can’t remember why we needed one at that hour. Though it’s pretty obvious, I guess.

  6. Oops, that was badly written. I gotta remember to proofread before posting in the future. Fixed.

    Jacob: On da web, I’m still mostly anonymous.

  7. There’s nothing like potty humor! Did you know that last Friday was “World Toilet Day”? http://www.thelocal.de/opinion/20081119-15623.html
    Here is a list of related toilet questions:
    1. Do you use the toilet brush in your friends house after leaving a colorful “gift”?
    2. Do you use the toilet brush in your shul after leaving a colorful “gift”, or just count it as a donation?
    3. At what point do you call a plumber?
    4. Can you become a plumber if you loose control at potty humor jokes?
    5. If the problem calls for a snake, can you still borrow one from your friend? They are much harder to clean than a plunger.
    I’m sure the list can go on, but I don’t want to get too silly!

  8. Not much to add except, I laughed really hard, and read the post to my mother, and could hardly read it due to combusting cheeks….hard to admit, but through all my sophistication, I have a soft spot for juvenile humor 🙂

    Also…you posted a pic of yourself…that’s not very anonymous (unless of course it’s not really your pic)

  9. Had me laughing all the way through.

  10. You can get a manual snake for like $30.
    Best way to unclog sink, take a wire hanger, straighten the hook and using pliers bend it into a very small hook. Straighten out the rest of the hanger, no need to unwrap the wire. Perfect snake.

  11. Now that he’s got alot of time on his hands why dont we just call “Joe the Plumber ” and get his take on the “Sit”uation?? But seriously, what happened to the idea of flushing in middle of your crap? Save alot of aggita that way. Just tryin’ to be of service…

  12. brown eyed girl Says:

    hilarious

  13. brown eyed girl Says:

    !

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