Archive for November 25, 2008

Its How You Look At It

Posted in Funny?, Me on November 25, 2008 by frumpunk

The toilet was blocked up, so I went to the plumbing supply store to get a plunger. I got the latest model, which looks like a toy. I remember when plungers were simple things, a wooden handle with a rubber end. This contraption is made of plastic with a long wide ridged lower half. In hot red. At least its an attractive toilet unblocker.

My brother asked why I went and bought a plunger instead of just borrowing one from a cousin or neighbor. I couldn’t believe he was asking me that seriously. Then I understood, its how you look at it. See, to him its just like borrowing anything else. To me it sounds like I’m going to my cousin and saying this: “Hi, I’ve taken a massive, massive crap. So massive, my toilet can’t handle all of it at once, so its all blocked up. And I was thinking, you seem like the type of person who also takes craps of the magnitude that a common toilet can’t handle. Therefore you must have a device to unblock the toilet for when you’ve taken those massive craps. Can I borrow it?”

And I’m just not willing to suggest that to anyone I know.

Anyone See That CBS Report?

Posted in Funny?, Politics on November 25, 2008 by frumpunk

CBS did a report on people in the Chassidic communities who cheat on their wives and husbands. I didn’t see the broadcast, but I read the summary on their website: http://wcbstv.com/seenat11/hasidic.jews.extramarital.2.873251.html

Now its difficult for me, when reading about a topic so serious, to find something in the article so hilarious. This quote pretty much sent me into fits:

“I know of swingers in the ultra orthodox community, which shocked me to hear it … just the way it would shock anybody else,” said “Yossi” of Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

Yossi said he knows adultery is taking place because he said he had affairs with several Hasidic women.

That might be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen or read from a serious news story. How far can this kind of cognitive dissonance go in news stories?

“Yes, I heard about the shootings. Its was terrible, I couldn’t believe it.” Says Mr Tom Buckley. Mr Buckley then proceeded to continue firing into the crowded mall.

“And the top story today, it seems Laura Bush, the First Lady of the United States has been having an affair. We go now to George Cooper at the White House. George?” “Hi, I’m George Cooper. As I found out last night, the First Lady is indeed having an affair. The affair began when I snuck into the side window of the Lincoln Bedroom late last night…”