Gemora Sex Stories

Hesh has a hilarious post up about the euphemisms used in Yeshiva when sexual topics came up in the gemorah. One story that that just reminded me of; I don’t remember the mesechta, I wish I did. Basically, the gemorah asks a questions about a certain Rav (I think it was Rav Papa) concerning with how exactly he was able to have sexual relations with his wife when he was so fat. Apparently he was so fat that they reasoned his stomach would be getting in the way of his “ervah” (as our teachers called it). After a protracted discussion, the gemorah reaches the conclusion that as you get fatter, your “ervah” grows ever longer so you can always, y’know.

(I didn’t learn that in shiur btw, I knew this guy who was very good at learning, and also got a kick out of finding sexy stories in the gemorah. Very immature, and only slightly wrong. I mean, he was learning, right?)

24 Responses to “Gemora Sex Stories”

  1. hahahha so guys should WANT to gain weight?
    its kinda like with girls- when some girls gain weight, their “chest” gets bigger

  2. I guess the gemorah’s not right about everything. (not that I would know)

  3. Ah so maybe thats why Ron Jeremy is pot bellied.

  4. not to show off or anything… but pretty sure it’s in brachos

  5. oohlala look at that! off the derech is qouting gemaras!

  6. Possibly, wishful thinking? Husband has done rotation at fertility center in Brooklyn & says many frum pple have fertility issues due to one or both being obese. To do with mechanics & lower sperm count & other hormonal issues, but mechanics definitely 1 reason.
    And, well, of course he was learning. As Rabbi – Akiva, I think? – said upon being extracted from under his rebbe’s bed: But it’s TORAH and I have to LEARN! šŸ™‚

  7. Wow, I never knew the Gemara talked about such stuff.

    But I always did wonder about that, now that’s cleared up.

    It’s so strange that only boys learn such things in Gemara when they are the immature ones, while girls don’t learn any of this stuff and they can handle it.

  8. So now we know which the 10 inch extension spams are always separate from the lose 100 kg in 2 weeks ones.

  9. This is why I love daf yomi. And babysitter, fyi, the more fun stuff is not taught in yeshiva.
    Women and snakes, women are like fish, does using a dildo make a woman not a virgin concerning a kohen gadol, what is the perfect size for boobies, etc. šŸ˜€
    And then there’s the stuff about demons and kabbala.

  10. Moshe: Knayna Hora sounds like a lot of “fun” topics. Shouldn’t all men want to learn in kollel now that they know what they get to learn? j/k

  11. nu, so moshe, does a dildo make her not a virgin?

    And wouldn’t the perfect size for boobies be up to the “gentleman” choosing a bride?

  12. I should remember, shouldn’t I… šŸ˜¦
    Those that fit in the hand as far as I remember.

    I really should start writing down page numbers…

  13. “Women and snakes, women are like fish, does using a dildo make a woman not a virgin concerning a kohen gadol, what is the perfect size for boobies, etc”
    all that is in gemara?!?!

  14. and much, much more

  15. I don’t get how the boobies one could be up to the gemara.

  16. we got to get together and put together all the erotic divrei chazal…..

  17. when we learned the gemarah about the rabbi ben dordayah (was that his name) the teacher was too embarassed to say how that the prostitute farted. Instead the teacher told us that the prostitute ’emitted a bodily wind’. We took that to mean an orgasm.

  18. davenedbydekoisel Says:

    sounds like alot of hot air to me, in yeshiva we had playboy etc.. under the stairwell…. all questions answered!

  19. Bava Mezia 80something. Some woman says all of his children must be mamzerim because he is so fat. To reject such a suspicion, the Gemara relates that he was exceptionally well-endowed. It then goes on to relate the sizes of a few fat Rabbis, for the same reason.

  20. Nafqa Minah is that one can’t necessarily assume that someone’s children are mamzerim because he is so fat. This would become an issue if the father were ch”v niftar and thus unable to prove his credentials, so to speak. His children would then be only Safeq mamzerim, like everyone else, and as per Qiddushin I think 70something, safeq mamzerim can marry regular Jews.

  21. Thanks Edvard!

  22. lol not to mention the stories of prostitutes in Kiddushin (towards the end).

  23. a boy asked me to have sex with him than another boy from yeshiva said he does it all the time in the mikva

  24. ב×Øוכים הבאים צי היימיש שמועהן איו טעלפון שמועהן זייט היימיש שעם זיך נישט

    Jewish Chat Room, Heimish Yiddish Phone ChatOwners:…Professor…Shaifeleh…BeNice…Jake…Dimp…Kingdavid… Moderators:…Stan…Josh…Nisht… Lovey

    http://heimishsex.com/

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