Posts From 3AM

So I haven’t posted in a while. I blame it on a combination of being semi-homeless (I’ve been living out of two suitcases since August) and having no internet where I’m staying. Working thirteen hour days until Succos didn’t help either. But I’m back, to quote Yeedle: “Y’all know me, still the same OG, just been low key.”

Here’s some posts that weren’t ever really posts, but rather stupid little thoughts/scribbles. Real posts coming soon.

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When I’m in America, if a girl hits on me I cant help but feel insecure that it might just be the accent. Being back here removes that doubt, though it seems to happen less which probably proves that theory. On the other hand I’ve been hit on by gay men here but not there.

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Flashbacks of a Fool might be the best movie I’ve ever seen. And its also the first movie I’ve ever seen that is English but doesn’t pander to its Englishness or twist it for comedic benefit. The whole thing could have worked with replacing a seaside town in England with a farming village in Louisiana, but what’s so great about it is that it works despite being English, not purely because of it the way most English films do.

Plus the soundtrack is awesome. “Shake your head girl with your ponytail, takes me right back”.

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If east is east and west is west and never the twain shall meet, where’s the twain?

(On twack twee.)

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What annoys me about Judaism is that there doesn’t seem to be an objective wrong and right. I wait three hours after meat. So that apparently means that someone who waits six and eats a cheese sandwich after five is doing an averiah, while its all right for me? Also, do chassidim believe on some level that everyone who has normal haircuts and doesn’t have the shaved head and peyos will be punished for it? Same goes for shaving. And why do they shave the heads? I understand the peyos, but is the shaved head simply to save money on haircuts, or is an actual part of their systems of belief?

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Jewish Institutions That Will Never Exist:

Toronto Institute of Torah Study

South Hebrew Institute of Torah

Central Louisiana Institute of Torah

Brooklyn Office Of Brocha Sellers

(I could go on, but thats bad enough)

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Why is it that incredibly fat women seem to be on a mission to wear incredibly tight cartoony shirts, usually featuring Tweety Bird? This might be a purely Wal-Mart phenomenon, but I’m sure I’ve seen it other places, if less often. Maybe Tweety Bird is a mascot for fat people? After all, little Tweety isnt in the best shape either. Her body is basically round as well.

I made a graph to prove the empirical truth of this data:

Fig 1. (Click for large)

Fig 1. (Click for large)

20 Responses to “Posts From 3AM”

  1. girl wouldnt hit on u unless she thought u were good looking- she might FLIRT with u because of ur accent.

    ppl have their own minhagim, no one is right. no one is wrong.

    wow i was pretty surprised to see those “Jewish Institutions That Will Never Exist”— did u think of those all on ur own? u need to get out more ;-P or maybe get a nonshomer negiah girlfriend?

  2. You made a graph? Seriously?

  3. yea i cant believe i forgot to comment on the graph!!!!!! nice work.

    bored much?

  4. good luck guy

  5. I didnt just think of the Jewish Institutions one, those have been a running joke since high school. I just decided to share them. I should probably take that one down, makes me sound like a perv, and also this blog is supposed to be somewhat PG.

  6. Oh yes, I made a graph. Its the middle of the night, and I couldn’t sleep. Maybe I just revealed how nerdy I can be?

  7. there’s a school where i live named after some dude named Schreiber. there’s a long-standing joke that originally they were going to call it Schreiber Hebrew Institute of Torah

  8. “And why do they shave the heads? I understand the peyos, but is the shaved head simply to save money on haircuts, or is an actual part of their systems of belief?”

    There is a Kabbalah that hair has tumah, so they shave it.

    “I should probably take that one down, makes me sound like a perv, and also this blog is supposed to be somewhat PG.”

    Those who would get it are not the ones that you should be hiding from, they’re obviously the ones mature/smart enough to get it.

  9. Frum Punk: I know what you mean in thinking that, but really people don’t just like you for the accent. Because along with being English it looks like there’s a certain haughty attitude attached to the accent. So it becomes 2 things, the accent and the attitude, and the attitude ultimately wins over. I had a boss who was British and he was always very bossy. I thought it was just his personality. But then yesterday I was walking home and I overheard this man on a cell phone and he had the same accent, and the way he was talking on the phone was the same way my boss had talked to me. So it’s a British attitude which made me not like him.

    That’s exactly what had bothered me about Judiasm. That there are different people doing different things and each believe their right. But yet I still look at it as a hierarchy. That chassidish are on the top, but their doing chumras that not everyone has to do. They’re doing the lifnum mishuras hadin. Although I’m not sure if it’s the way of dress per say that makes them Chassidish. There are litvish people that wear Bekeshers and Gartels, so there’s got to be something else other than the dress that makes them Chassidish. About the shaving the head, I’m sure there’s a reason for that, I can find out.

    I don’t get the Jewish Institutions one.

    I haven’t noticed any tweety bird shirts, and btw, tweety is a He, not a she.

  10. I tried reading over the institution ones 5 times but I still don’t get it. Can you explain it?

  11. babysitter- im cracking up. ur pretty cute

  12. Babysitter: Did you think I came off as arrogant as well? I think I do sometimes, but its tongue-in-cheek for me.

  13. FrumPunk: not at all, you didn’t come off as arrogant. Which is why I’m saying it’s not all about the accent, so you must have a good attitude too. Although in the beginning when you were telling Moshe about something with comedy and how America comedy isn’t real, I started to wonder. But after a while you were really nice. Some stuff will stay with me, how you offered me those stuff to drink, lol. And how I actually drank at the end, but that was only because Anita drank it and said it was good and that it wasn’t really alcohol or anything so it’s not really counted.

    Esther: Thanx.

    btw, is anybody going to explain the institution stuff to me?

  14. Thanks Babysitter. I was just teasing Moshe, I wasn’t being serious about any of that.

    And no, I’m not explaining them. If you don’t get them, thats probably for the best. I’m not going down that road.

  15. shes one of the few naive ones left in this world. i didnt know they even existed anymore

  16. FrumPunK: Your welcome, I figured you were teasing him. Back to the accent part though, it was cute the way you did it. Like the way you said it. Hard to explain.

    o, well.

    Esther: I’m not really naive, I know a lot of stuff, I just happen to not get this.

    Perhaps once someone explains it, then I’ll be like, “o, that was so obvious, don’t know why I didn’t get it” so perhaps I am capable of understanding it.

    But that’s ok, I’m sure it’s not such important knowledge anyways.

  17. “Perhaps once someone explains it, then I’ll be like, “o, that was so obvious, don’t know why I didn’t get it” so perhaps I am capable of understanding it.”

    u will be EXACTLY like that.

  18. Yay now I know I didn’t get something that I could have gotten.

  19. FrumPunk: since I already started complimenting you on this post might as well continue it here. Just wanted to say thanx for putting up my new blog on your blog roll, I appreciate it!

  20. ok, I think I finally have it!

    Yesterday my mother was saying something and she said they should have some “institution” then she corrected herself and said she meant “institute”. So I said, “what’s the big deal with institutions?”, so then she said “You don’t want to be stuck there”. So then I think I finally got it.

    That institution is like for mentally crazy people. SO that’s why you’ll never have those?

    But never mind, now I look back and I see you wrote the word “institute” and not institution. SO I’m back to round 0.

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