Tishe B’Av Wins Approval From PETA
A spokesman for PETA recently praised the Jewish communities commitment to animal rights through the observance of Tishe B’ Av. “In an age of excess, it’s nice to see people taking one day to show their commitment to animal rights by not only refusing to eat meat, but even refusing to wear leather.”
PETA has made great strides in the frum community. Until Tishe B’Av their biggest success to date was the almost universal replacement of real kishke with parev kishke made from vegetables. This author has only ever managed to have real kishke once in his life, and that was at some sketchy place in Israel.
PETA points to early biblical sources as proof of the correctness of their lifestyle. “We see in the Torah that Hashem told the Jews to be fruitful and multiply. Not to be meatful and multiply. In fact, the word ‘meatful’ never once appears in the Torah, while fruits, veggies and general farming are mentioned multiple times.” said PETA spokesperson Irma Beefeater.
In related news, Crocs, makers of the eponymous footwear bearing the same name is investigating the cause for a sudden spike in sales leading up to the weekend of August 8th.