Decisions Are Difficult

I was grocery shopping yesterday and we needed to pick up some toilet paper. Right in the middle of the aisle was a big pack on sale which announced on the package that it contained 33% More! I was about to put it in the cart when I noticed the type next to it was from the same brand except this kind had different packaging that announced it to be Stronger Than Ever. Next to that was another kind by the same brand which announced itself to be Now Even Softer. And finally the last type proclaimed to the world Now With Puppies! (I kid you not. And these were all from the same company.) So do I want more, stronger, softer or puppies? Talk about freedom of choice.

It reminded me of that classic Jerry Seinfeld bit where he discusses how every kind of pain medication now seems to be Extra Strength. You can’t buy regular strength now even if you wanted to. But then you also could buy the Long Lasting version. And right next to that is Quick Acting. So when do you want to feel better, now or later?

In the end I did the Jewish thing and bought the version with 33% extra. Though while sitting on the throne earlier I did ponder what it would have been like if it had been softer, or with puppies. Could have been a whole different experience.

8 Responses to “Decisions Are Difficult”

  1. What do you mean “with puppies”?

  2. Exactly what I was thinking. With Puppies? What’s next?

  3. It had puppies printed on the paper. I’d like to point out that this wasnt kids toilet paper either. Personally, if a person loves puppies why would they want to wipe themselves with them?

  4. I’d get the one with puppies. No kittens? 😦

  5. It should be pictures of oil company logos. People would clean the shelves of it and other than the yahoos who’d save some for later sale as collector items on eBay, they’d also clean out the laxative section of the pharmacy to make fullest use of that paper.

    Am I sounding like I used to work in retail marketing?

  6. Stick to your Jewish instinct, with 33% more, I’d buy sandpaper. 🙂

  7. […] – bookmarked by 2 members originally found by OrganicGangstas on 2008-12-08 Decisions Are Difficult https://frumpunk.wordpress.com/2008/07/10/decisions-are-difficult/ – bookmarked by 2 members […]

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