Whenever I hear someone talk about how bad it is for frum people to have phones that can text message I am bewildered. How is it worse than talking? Today, I understand.

See, I was talking to an old friend of Facebook who’s getting married this summer. Thanks to him, I’ll have the utter joy of being back in New York after a good four years. This guy learns in the Mir in Israel, and is an all-around great guy. I’ve known him since we were ten. This guy has the most pathetic case of text speech I’ve ever seen. I now realize that having phones that can text gives you the ability to sound like an imbecile and/or fifteen year old girl with a ADHD and a constant case of excitement. He does it all, skips his vowels, replaces letters with numbers, forgot how to punctuate…

He claims it saves time. If you’re such a masmid that you compute how long it takes to type each letter and skip some to save time, then what are you doing on Facebook? It’s a fallacious argument anyways, because to reach the numbers you have to pass over the whole keyboard or even move to the entire right side of the keyboard and back again. Did I mention it also makes you sound like a teenager?

Today we had the following exchange:

I won’t say what his whole status was, but it involved the word ‘donating’ which he spelled as ‘don8ing’.

Frum Punk:
May 29 at 4:18am
Nothing on the subject, but brilliant how you managed to save typing a whole letter by replacing ‘at’ with ‘8’ in donating.
Frum Punks Friend:
May 29 at 10:59pm
actually, it was 2 letters, thank u very much!

Shabbat Shalom!

Note: I think he’s cleaning up his act thanks to me. See how he put all the letters in most of the time? It could have been “actuly it waz 2 ltrs thx”.
Frum Punk:
Today at 12:19am
Donating = 8 characters.
Don8ing = 7 characters.

You take out two letters but put in one number. So you save typing a single character but at the cost of sounding like a 15 year old girl.

Good Shabbos!

I’m not on any dating sites, but I’ve heard rumors of women who one assumes are actually of marriageable age doing this. Heaven knows Only Simchas is infested with it. What is wrong with you people? I fear for the future. Will novels someday be published in txt? Do you people write cover letters for jobs in this sort of ape-like gibberish? Is proper spelling so difficult? I don’t expect miracles here, but put in all the letters at least.
I am aware that years spent fixing peoples computers have given me somewhat of a superiority complex but I don’t think I’m being too harsh here. A peoples roots lie in their language, and we Jews have always been known as The People of the Book. Lets not become Teh Ppl of teh Buk.
Edit: He posted this just now: u r a FB friend fiend!”
I’m a failure.

10 Responses to “I H8 THS”

  1. Good. At least someone understands me not liking my typos. Beware of your superiority complex
    :unsheaths editorial sword:
    “I am aware that years fixing peoples computers have given me somewhat of a superiority complex”
    1. no apostrophe in people’s (I don’t care. You could be posting from a phone or PDA, for all I know.)
    2. agreement error: Years/Has — this is a tricky one, ’cause it doesn’t make sense, but in this case, years (plural) is acting as a single unit of measurement, so it’s years/has. (What a PIA.)
    :resheaths sword:

    I’m so happy, I have two nights and Sunday pretty much lined up to edit copy. Life is good.

    Confession: I like writing teh, sometimes. And other lolcatisms. I don’t write my texts hideously, though. I’ll either send two or go back and trim words down (you to u, for example), but that’s it.

  2. Good point, but I insert the word ‘spent’ and it all goes away.

  3. Lord knows I’m a grammar and spelling nazi, and it drives me out of my mind when my friends (grown women! with kids!) text me like that, BUT there is something to be said for the evolution of a new dialect, I guess you could call it. I still hate when people email using that form, because email is essentially writing a letter, but sending it a different way. But texting is different. In the library world, where we are very into relating to kids and teens, using txt tlk is perfectly fine, even admired. Almost like the way we used Pig Latin so our parents wouldn’t understand us.

  4. I agree with you so much on this one.
    1- the numbers are harder than typing the letters
    2- Just to think of the abbreviations can take more time than to actually type out the word.
    3- I only use 2 abbreviations. The letter “u” for you and the letter “y” for why, I started using it when I take notes in class and it helped to get everything down.
    4- Also, the word “lol” seemed to have become such an essential part of expression.

  5. I heard once that people who use abbreviations in their writing have a higher tendency of developing Alzheimer’s when the get older. Don’t remember where or when I read it, so for all I really know it could have just been a dream.

  6. I don’t text as it costs like 10 cents a message.

  7. jacob, $.10?! more like $.20!

    I consider txt tlk very appropriate when txting or instant messaging. leet speak or l33t sp34k is fun \/\/|-|3n j00 vv4nn4 4nn0y s0/\/\31, f00.
    Both are completely inappropriate in normal emails or anywhere where you’re not in a rush.

  8. I guess punx doesn’t count?

  9. Course not. Names can be spelled many different ways. Stayci.

  10. ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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