Only in Dreams
I had the weirdest dreams last night. This is significant in and of itself because usually I either don’t dream or don’t remember my dreams. And if I do dream, they’re usually mundane. I hear people say dreams like “so I was sitting in class when my desk turned into an flying umbrella with a yellow elephant attached and we went sailing over Paraguay…” I’ve never had a dream like that. My most common dream as a kid was getting up and getting dressed for school, until I woke up to realize I was still in bed and the carpool was honking outside. I mean, literally, I would dream about getting out of bed, brushing my teeth, washing my face and getting dressed. Nothing twisted whatsoever.
Anyways, In the first one, I was Natalie Portman. Please note, this is not the common dream guys have of being with Natalie Portman. I actually was her. Or rather, she was me. Basically, I was me but in her body, and my family was getting ready to go to some event. So I was getting dressed and put on a black suit, black shirt (yes I remember picking out the colors) and was contemplating topping it off with a white tie, when I suddenly realized I should probably be wearing a dress or something. I got very confused after that. That’s all I remember of that one.
Second dreams I was back to being me. I went on my computer and checked to see if I had any new messages on facebook or comments on my blog. When I went to my blog I saw a whole bunch of stupid posts not written by me. I tried to log in to the admin section to remove them, but it wouldn’t let me log in. My blog had been hijacked and whoever it was kept posting really offensive and/or stupid posts and people were commenting on how I’d suddenly become such a jerk, and I was angry but had no way of telling people it wasn’t me and someone was ruining my blog.
I blame this all on eating a malawa with some tikka chicken right before going to sleep. Also, has anyone ever heard that you can’t read in dreams? I learned that from a Batman episode when I was a kid where he was trapped by The Joker in a dream world and everything was twisted, but he didn’t realize it was a dream until he tried to read a book and the words were all garbled. Total bs. I read those blog posts.