Stumbling From The Seder
First of all, I see around 25 people checked in over Pesach. Tsk tsk. For the sake of being dan lekaf, I’ll assume you’re all from Australia, New Zealand or somewhere in that timezone.
Onwards; every year as far as I can remember I leave the seder feeling sick to my stomach. First its not eating for hours and then quickly scarfing down a bunch of matzah, marror, then the matzah and marror sandwich. I’m sure we eat far more than we need to, but noone in my family is ever quite certain what constitutes a kezayis of something so thin, so we eat approximately an entire piece each. Once we get past all that we get to the chicken soup which never fails to make me more thankful than ever that when my parents became frum they went against the grain of being machmir on everything to make up for not having minhagim, because nothing makes me more glad not to be chassidish than when I get to break pieces of matzah into my chicken soup. It has to be the big round handbaked stuff though. That square factory garbage just doesn’t cut it. Anyways, I was saying how I get a stomach ache every year. It’s all that sickly sweet Kedem. (Someday I plan to slip a bottle of Kedem into a professional wine tasting event. I wonder what the comments will be? “Hmmm… burnt kugel and… is that a hint of really bad cholent?”) The first two cups are okay, but then when you have the third and fourth cups right next to each other and you can’t eat anything because it’s after the afikoman… it’s a killer.
The worst ever though, was a few years ago in yeshiva in Israel. I was having the seder at my Rebbes house, and my cousin was also attending. He claimed to know just what we needed, so we both bought this sweet, heavy red wine. I remember telling him that I was told to avoid the stomach pain I should get a dry red wine, but he insisted. I remember stumbling out after the fourth cup and just vomiting.
But of course, every year I forget about all this and end up having the sweet Kedem kiddush wine my dad buys.