You say “to-mah-to…”

(Two posts in a row on the same topic. I’m getting better at this!)

So I’ve heard about how girls moan about guys with lists. Number two on the moaning chart seems to be guys who ask for measurements or simply demand thin girls. (Number one is money, but thats a given.) Personally I find this as abhorrent as the rest of the idea of having a list. After all, if you’re a frum guy you should know enough to want to find the girl who’s right for you, not the girl from the dwindled-down pool who seems the best. You’ve been learning since you were ten. You should have some intelligence to have made it this far. Seems there’s a sect of people who keep what their friends might think in the back of their minds. This is where they fall into the “trophy wife” ideal. Show her off at the shabbos table to your friends. “See guys. Ain’t she a looker? And wait ’till you try her kugel!” These people are stupid. Love the waist? Better not get her pregnant.

But in fairness to my sex, we are trumped (I feel) by the girls with their own personal ideal of beauty. Specifically, the bane of all of us of acceptable height. “Must be tall! (tee hee)”. (tee hee added by me. But, y’know.)

Now I find this to be worse than a guy who wants the right figure. After all, you can lose weight. Work on your posture. Get those shoes that make your calves look slender. What can I do? Get those Tom Cruise-esqe invisible lifts in my shoes? Most of you are under 5’7 anyways, why are you demanding a six footer?

I leave you with this: “I always wanted to have the poetry of Bob Dylan, Tom Cruise’s smile and Elvis’s swagger. Instead I got Bob Dylans hair, Tom Cruise’s height and Elvis’s liver.”

One Response to “You say “to-mah-to…””

  1. I just went through your whole archive! You’ll see why soon enough.

    Interesting that I should read this after reading 2 girls write about this topic.

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