Getting home with the downies.

I don’t like rap. I’ve tried to like it, but the lack of instruments and the typical lyrical themes just turn me off. When it came out and was cool, I listened to Eminems ‘Marshall Mathers LP’ all the way through. When you’re a 14 year old Jewish kid at summer camp you feel like a badass quoting it, but I grew out of that fast. When I was at the stage where I didn’t want to listen to non-Jewish music but still wanted good music I listened to a lot of Black Hattitude. I can probably still rap several of their songs all the way through. Its almost embarrassing.

On a social scale, I feel rap is the anti-thesis of old black music. Blues I can get down with. I got nothing, and they’re trying to take it away from me. Guys with names like Muddy and Buddy. Rap is pimps and hos and “look what I gots”. Its like along with emancipation on a social scale the art of having nothing has been replaced with the art of trying to look like you have everything.

The only thing worse than regular rap is Jewish rap. Shlock Rock… please go back to rewriting U2 and Billy Joel. Seriously, for the sake of everything thats decent. (“Hey you, I’m a Jew and I think it’s cool. Yeah I eat kosher meat, ’cause I ain’t no fool.”)

I tested out the headline on my brother who only got one of the jokes in the headline. If you get both, please tell me so I don’t feel like my humor goes over peoples head.